This Mother’s Day let’s say no to being the perfect mom and say yes to being a happy mom.
Social media, celebrities and their post baby bodies, pop culture and societal expectations, all paint a picture of the “supermom” who effortlessly balances their career, family, relationships, and personal well-being with boundless energy and flawless execution. Today, the pressure on moms to excel in every part of their lives is more intense than ever before.
The rise of the “supermom” archetype, celebrated and pushed by society has created an image of a mom who can do it all with a smile on her face, however, the harsh reality is that being a “supermom” can be more stressful than empowering, creating the lesser spoken about Supermom Syndrome.
“At the heart of Supermom Syndrome also lies the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations. The pursuit of perfection in motherhood sets idealistic standards that are impossible to meet. From maintaining a spotless home to preparing Pinterest-worthy meals, managing children’s schedules, excelling in careers, and looking flawless while doing it all, the expectations placed on moms these days are overwhelming,” comments Bronwyn Ragavan, brand manager for Personal Touch and Chemico, two of South Africa’s well-known cleaning brands.
She continues to say that in striving to meet these unattainable ideals while neglecting their own needs, many women find themselves constantly feeling inadequate. Many “supermoms” prioritise the well-being of their children above their own, sacrificing sleep, personal time and self-care leading to mommy burnout – the emotional and physical exhaustion experienced from constant parenting, which can lead to depression, anxiety and even isolation.
To be a “supermom”, moms often find themselves juggling multiple roles while trying to excel in each one. The fear of failure adds additional layers of stress to their lives: whether it’s criticism from family members, friends, or even strangers on social media, the fear of not living up to society’s expectations weighs heavily.
One of the most sinister aspects of the Supermom Syndrome is its normalisation within society. Moms who exhibit signs of burnout or stress are often praised for their dedication and selflessness, continuing the myth that sacrificing one’s well-being for the sake of their family is expected. This societal pressure to conform to the ideal of the “supermom” only adds to the increased feelings of guilt and inadequacy among moms who are already struggling to keep up.
Ragavan believes that this Mother’s Day is the perfect time to start being the mom you are meant to be, not the mom you believe you have to be, and suggests the following ways to try and navigate yourself out of the cycle of trying to be a “supermom”.
It is important to remember that motherhood is actually messy, chaotic, and imperfect, which is perfectly normal:
• Instead of striving for perfection, focus on being present, set realistic expectations, and prioritising self-care while remembering there is no such thing as the perfect mother.
• It’s okay to ask for help, to say no. Family members and friends will never expect you to struggle every day and will happily help out when you need them to. If your children are of an age when chores can be allocated, definitely include them in day-to-day activities to help lessen your load.
• You are also important and therefore need to prioritise your own needs. A mom whose batteries are half full cannot give her children her full attention. Take time to exercise, meditate, have a bubble bath or even set aside some time to read a book (one without pictures). All these moments will help you recharge and give your best.
• “No” needs to become your new favourite word. Don’t overcommit yourself by saying yes to every activity and invitation. You need to prioritise your time to work for you and your family, and not for everyone else. Learn to set boundaries to give yourself peace.
• Go off social media. If the world wide web is making you feel bad about yourself, then you need to stop scrolling. Social media is used to present a perfect life, and not the tough times. Accept that these perfect moms are only perfect when a camera is recording their lives.
• Just as you would celebrate your child’s achievements, learn to celebrate your own, no matter how small. Give yourself credit for the things you have achieved rather than focussing on what is still on your to do list.
• If you are finding things tougher than they need to be find someone to talk to. Feeling overwhelmed, stress or inadequate are not emotions to overlook, and should be taken seriously.
Supermom Syndrome is an often-overlooked phenomenon that places unrealistic expectations on moms and undermines their well-being. The pressure to excel in every element of motherhood, together with societal norms that celebrate self-sacrifice and perfection, can have detrimental effects on maternal mental health.
Speaking about this phenomenon and acknowledging its effect on moms can help to challenge the myth of the “supermom” and recognise that true strength lies in vulnerability and self-care, emphasising that being a mom who is trying her best is what it means to be a truly empowered parent.PRESS RELEASE
